BE THE MOM
By Tracey Lanter Eyster
The subtitle to this book is "Overcome attitude traps and enjoy your kids". This book couldn't have come at a better time for me. I used to have no trouble enjoying my kids. I have 4 of them, a 13 year old, 11 year old, 7 year old and 4 year old. We used to have tons of fun. I even used to homeschool. We did everything together. But then something happened. Life got busy....really busy.....really fast. Suddenly when we were home, all I wanted to do was rest. I got stuck in all of the traps that the author lays out for us in her book. Since reading this book though, I feel energized to try again. To let go of all the mommy traps and enjoy my kids yet again. Here are the traps. See if you fit into any of them.
Just a mom trap. Have you ever heard yourself or another mom utter those words? ""I am JUST a mom." Yikes! That phrase should be ripped from the human vocabulary. I say human instead of English because it is a global crisis. As mom's we need to realize that there is no such thing as "JUST A MOM"....we are raising the next generation and it is up to us to make them decent human beings. Don't ever discount what you do as a mom.
Me mom trap. Everything needs to be done my way, or the highway. In other words meet my expectations. This was a hard one for me. I know the kids need to do chores but I would give them brainless ones that they couldn't possibly mess up...and they STILL didn't do it to my expectations. Once I learned how to let go of those expectations, things started going smoothly. The house got picked up much quicker, the kids were doing chores and there was more time for us as a family.
Martyr mom trap. Do you ever liken yourself to Eeyore? You know from Winnie the Pooh? The author did...and so have I. We are just too busy doing everything for every one else there is never any time to do what we need or want to do for ourselves. That is the wrong attitude to have. Honestly if we don't take care of ourselves, then everyone will suffer. As I write this I am terribly sick with a cold. Why? Because I go, go, go until I burn out. I have been enjoying my kids yes....but I never stopped to slow down and relax...now the kids are getting sick too and we are all home feeling miserable and playing video games. Ugh...
Busy mom trap. Do you say yes to everything? I know I do. I figure that if its going to get done right, I better do it. This is not good for you, or the people you're doing it for. It also isn't something that you want your kids to see. You want them to put everything into a task...not a little of themselves in each task just to get it done. Don't make the approval of others more important that your relationships with your children.
Mirror mom trap. Ever compare yourself? That is what this mom trap is all about. In this world of technology it is impossible not to compare oneself....but we need to not do that. For our sake and for the sake of our families.
Tomorrow mom trap. I can actually remember saying when I was pregnant with my third child, "I will do it right this time." Not that I did anything wrong with my first or second child....but that is when I was getting into the busy mom trap, etc. The third time around, I was sure I was going to get out of that trap. Don't keep thinking about tomorrow...focus on today and what you can change. Your kids grow up WAY to fast. As it is I can't believe that I have a teenager! It seems like just yesterday when we brought him home from the hospital. When you are in the midst of it....it seems like an eternity....but I promise you it isn't...and it goes by all too fast.
They say mom trap. Ever say that? "Well...you know what they say...." I know I have several times in my life. The "theys" aren't always right...and the "theys" aren't raising your children....you are....don't let them.
You may think to yourself that you know all of these things. I know I knew all of these things....but I had forgotten them. Put them in a file cabinet in my brain and walked away. They are so important though. Don't fall into the mom traps.
I would give this book a definite 5 stars! Thanks Tracey for reopening my eyes and giving me trap free time with my family...even if it is a little later than I would have liked! Better late then never!!!
* Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.*